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Mitch Hedberg Quotes

I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day.

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: February 24, 1968 - March 30, 2005

Topics

Day Remember Used I Remember Yeah

Everyone wants to say they hate lawyers, and yet I've never met a parent who didn't want their kid to be a lawyer.

Hate Lawyer Parent Lawyers Say Want

Religion can never reform mankind because religion is slavery.

Robert Green Ingersoll

Religion Slavery Never Mankind

It turns out kids today still learn that four-chord progression when they're just picking up the guitar.

Today Guitar Learn Out Up Kids

I've never met a Mormon I didn't like. They're really nice people. They're so Disney. They're so Rodgers and Hammerstein.

People Nice Never Like Mormon Met

As an already high-demand, low-density military asset, we cannot afford to lose the JSTARS's BMC2/ISR unparalleled capability.

Lose Military Cannot Asset Afford

My mom pushed me to take drama class.

Me Mom Drama Class Take Pushed

I think that Eminem is very talented and remarkably bright, and I actually do like a lot of his music.

Music Think Bright Like I Think His

I don't listen to people who say my dreams are impossible; I just work to prove them wrong.

Work Dreams People Impossible Wrong

The only constant that I have in my life is that I start whatever I do with my Total Gym, because I believe it helps keep me from getting injured.

Christie Brinkley

Life Me Start Believe My Life Gym

I'd be more than delighted to go find energy in Club Med. But we've tried and did not find it.

Christophe de Margerie

Energy Find Go More Club Tried

I enjoyed playing the dual role of an actor and producer.

Actor Producer Playing Role Enjoyed

That's something I think is growing on me as I get older: happy endings.

Happy Me Think Growing Something

Copyright © 2024 QuotesDict Quote by Mitch Hedberg