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Mitch Hedberg Quotes

I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: February 24, 1968 - March 30, 2005

Topics

Together You Go Jokes Hold Whole

One must always keep one's government under control.

Government Control Always Keep Must

I happen to write by hand. I don't even type.

Hand Write Happen Even Type

For example, it's only about 20 years ago the people in that community would have got telephone lines, and it would be only about in the 1950s that electricity came to that part of the world. Television wouldn't have come till 1970.

Community People World Electricity

One day I caught four Dolphins, how much I have gazed at these beautiful creatures... as they changed their hue in twenty varieties of richest arrangement of tints.

John James Audubon

Beautiful Day One Day Dolphins Four

Tattoos are so widespread, so ugly and so very, very permanent. You can, in theory, have them removed - but a large chunk of your living flesh will go with it.

Ugly You Go Living Will Tattoos

Swing at strikes. You've got to swing at strikes.

You Swing Got Strikes

If you're out there saying something that you don't personally believe, then it doesn't really matter if a voter agrees with what you're saying. If they don't believe that you believe it, then they're not going to listen to you anyway.

Saying Believe You Matter Listen

My relationship with shoes has always been linked to shoes, women, women in their shoes and performance.

Christian Louboutin

Women Relationship Shoes Performance

My name was on the list very early after these announcements were made through the newspapers in Europe.

Claude Nicollier

Name Early Europe Through Made Very

Oprah Winfrey is a big role model for me from a business capacity and a creative capacity. She is an incredible interviewer who cultivated a certain style by inserting her own personhood into a show on national television at a time when no one was talking about empowerment, spirituality, or our inner lives.

Business Time Style Creative Me She

That was my aspiration, so I was there in a seminary with just boys who were studying to be priests. Pretty rigorous schooling; we never got home, we stayed there all year.

Home Year Never Studying Pretty Got

They say there's no second act in American lives. There's something there worth exploring. Giving up an idea of yourself, examining your failure, and seeing if that failure was the system's or yours. What does it mean to not turn out to be the person you want to be?

Failure Yourself American Giving You

Copyright © 2024 QuotesDict Quote by Mitch Hedberg