Mitch Hedberg Quotes

I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.

Mitch Hedberg

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

  • Author Profession: comedian
  • Nationality: american
  • Birth: February 24, 1968 - March 30, 2005

Topics

WordsNewFixJokeOutLast

In the city, we work until quitting time. On the farm, we work until the job is finished.

John Bytheway

WorkTimeJobCityFarmQuitting

I had, probably, a more challenging experience growing up than most middle-class chicks.

Jennifer Hale

ExperienceGrowing UpGrowingMore

Go far - too far you cannot, still the farther. The more experience finds you: and go sparing. One meal a week will serve you, and one suit, through all your travels; for you'll find it certain.

John Fletcher

ExperienceWeekYouFindGoWill

I'm one of those people that makes a better adult than I did a kid.

Mayim Bialik

PeopleBetterKidAdultThanDid

The Europeans not only colonialized most of the world, they began to colonialize information about the world and its people. In order to do this, they had to forget, or pretend to forget, all they had previously known abut the Africans.

John Henrik Clarke

PeopleWorldInformationForgetOnly

I suppose I try to look for those things where the world turns on you. It's every automobile accident, every accident at a party, you're having a good time until suddenly you're not.

John Irving

GoodTimeHaving A Good TimeWorld

I love New York, but I'd felt like an outsider here.

Michael Arad

LoveNew YorkNewOutsiderHere

The good rising fastball is the best pitch in baseball.

Tom Seaver

GoodBestBaseballRisingPitch

I think there is that very basic yearning for something or someone to be looking after us, for there to be a framework holding the universe together that is benign and intelligent. We're not going to get rid of that; it's just too scary to be that molecule flying around briefly in a vacuum.

Michel Faber

TogetherLookingFlyingThinkScary

My house is my refuge, an emotional piece of architecture, not a cold piece of convenience.

Luis Barragan

ArchitectureColdHouseEmotional

I want to spend as much time as possible with my children, so I always like to keep my beauty and fashion routines effortless... but still chic!

Liya Kebede

BeautyChildrenTimeFashionWant

I am lucky because I get to work with the smartest, most creative, and most devoted group of students and postdoctoral fellows imaginable.

Bonnie Bassler

WorkCreativeI AmGroupLuckyGet

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