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Mitch Hedberg Quotes

I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: February 24, 1968 - March 30, 2005

Topics

Fun You Late Mad Want Glass

In the Emperor's New Clothes, they got a different celebrity to do each voice. They drew up a picture of each character and then each actor wrote their own part.

Melissa Joan Hart

Character Voice Picture Clothes New

Even with an improperly ground mirror, the Hubble delivered extraordinary images. When the flaw was corrected, the Hubble delivered images of transcendent beauty and value for many years. So too 'Terra Nova.' Even in its flawed first season, each episode was full of marvelous moments and beautiful images.

Beauty Beautiful Mirror Value First

I try to, like, hang out with my family as much as possible. Hang out with the band, go hiking when I'm in the mood for that. Watch Netflix. It's really important for me; like, health comes before everything else.

Family Health Me Netflix Possible

He sliced the ball when he had it on a plate.

Ball Plate He Had Sliced

People oftentimes refer to me as 'Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.' So, I'm Mr. Johnson. I'm a complete outsider.

People Me Washington Outsider Goes

Progress everywhere today does seem to come so very heavily disguised as Chaos.

Today Progress Chaos Seem Come Very

I'm not 21 and trying to prove something with my words.

Words Trying Prove Something

Through every struggle that I have been confronted with and have been subjected to - solitary confinement, long legal battles, and physically transitioning to the woman I have always been - I manage not only to survive, but to grow, learn, mature, and thrive as a better, more confident person.

Chelsea Manning

Struggle Woman Survive Legal Better

I would really love to sit with Kathryn Hepburn because I find her so interesting.

Love Interesting Find Sit Her Would

Every time I go out there, I have something to prove. Something more, something different.

Time Go Prove More Out Something

I have a gruff character.

Brigitte Bardot

I loved music, but I found myself at the point where I wanted to die. I didn't care about life.

Life Music Myself Care Loved Die

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