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Mike Birbiglia Quotes

I'm generally so disoriented during the week about what I'm doing and where I am - I travel a lot - that when I'm home on a Sunday, I typically try to sleep in as much as I can.

Mike Birbiglia

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: June 20, 1978

Topics

Home Travel Sleep I Am Doing Week

Cancer's like the ultimate excuse. Who's gonna say, 'Oh, no, you have to show up for this one?' 'Hey, I got cancer. I can't be there.' It's the ultimate eraser.

Melissa Etheridge

You Say Up Cancer Got Show

I was never sullen. I was a terrible punk - I was still so chatty.

Melissa McCarthy

Never Punk Terrible Still Sullen

I've always been into cars. Cars are part of our genetic makeup. It's unavoidable.

Matthew Fox

Makeup Always Genetic Been Our Part

Teachers make a difference, and we would serve our students better by focusing on attracting and retaining the quality teachers by raising teacher pay.

Jeb Bush

Teacher Quality Better Teachers Pay

Teaching is too strong a word for whatever it was I did at Northeastern University.

Robert B. Parker

Strong Whatever University Teaching

Trade wars aren't started by countries appealing to respected, independent trade authorities. Rather, trade wars begin when one country decides to violate international trade rules to undercut another country's industries.

Ron Wyden

Rules Country Independent Begin

If you say 'I can't,' you'd better add on 'yet.' Once you start to change that inner dialogue, things that would seem completely impossible become possible.

Diamond Dallas Page

Change Start Impossible Better You

To be told you've won a MacArthur fellowship is very flattering and gratifying personally.

David Simon

You Fellowship Won Very Personally

I always say God should have given women one extra decade at least, especially if you want a family. You're trying to pack a lot in.

Christine Baranski

Family Women God Trying You Want

The richest Indonesians have maybe $5 billion. Bill Gates has $50 billion.

Ciputra

Richest Billion Gates Maybe Bill

For someone like me, who as a kid could not have two people in front of me without wanting to hide, to end up on stage with a lot of people in front of me, feeling good, it has to be a strange and special place.

Sylvie Guillem

Good People Me End Someone Hide

I think executive orders with Donald Trump would be a very blunt instrument with respect to the Constitution.

Scott Pruitt

Respect Constitution Think Blunt