Steven Wright Quotes

My doctor told me I shouldn't work out until I'm in better shape. I told him, 'All right; don't send me a bill until I pay you.'

Steven Wright

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Topics

WorkMeDoctorBetterYouRight

Once you're not No. 1, it doesn't matter where you are.

Jerry Della Femina

YouMatterWhereOnce

I'll be sober ten years and married nine soon.

Rob Lowe

Ten YearsSoberYearsSoonTenNine

After I lost the first set, I was like, 'OK, I need to get help because I can't play this way.'

Mary Pierce

HelpPlayLostWayFirstNeed

A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears.

Michel de Montaigne

ManSufferingWhoHeFears

I think it's best if there's an amendment that goes on the ballot where the people can weigh in. Every time this issue has gone on the ballot, the people have voted to retain the traditional definition of marriage as recently as California in 2008.

Michele Bachmann

MarriageTimeBestPeopleThink

As an actor you have one great fear: pimples!

Jonathan Brandis

FearGreatYouActorPimples

I'd always rather be lucky than smart.

Donald Luskin

SmartLuckyAlwaysRatherThan

My forte is the plotting. You sit down, and you work out a plot.

Clive Cussler

WorkYouDownOutSitPlot

It's difficult to compare coaches. You really can't compare them.

Cobi Jones

YouDifficultCompareCoachesReally

I always rise to the occasion for that big bet.

Bobby Riggs

RiseAlwaysBigBetOccasion

The two saddest moments of my life were when my mother died and when I was told I couldn't play football for the Colts anymore.

Art Donovan

LifeMotherFootballMy LifeMoments

It's really amazing what Pep Guardiola has done at Man City.

Arjen Robben

ManCityAmazingDoneReallyPep

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