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John Oliver Quotes

I'm British; pessimism is my wheelhouse.

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: british
Birth: April 23, 1977

Topics

British Pessimism

Our ports are a vital link in national security and it is extremely dangerous to be considering their sale to the United Arab Emirates government.

Government Security Dangerous United

Every single person around the world has this storage facility in their bedroom, and we call it a closet, and 80 percent of the stuff in that storage facility is worn three times or less in its lifetime.

World Person Three Bedroom Single

Well, I don't really eat cereal that much because on Weight Watchers it's not worth the points.

Jennifer Hudson

Worth Eat Well Weight Cereal Much

You have to understand: the narrative that people have about business and capitalism is that they are fundamentally selfish, greedy, and exploitative. Of course, I don't agree with that narrative.

Business People Capitalism Selfish

The curious thing is Americans don't mind individual mandates when they come in the form of payroll taxes to buy mandatory public insurance. In fact, that's the system we call Social Security and Medicare, and both are so popular politicians dare not touch them.

Curious Mind Insurance Security Dare

Sports were a big part of my life. I was the captain of the basketball team in high school, and captain of the basketball team at Princeton.

John W. Rogers, Jr.

Life Sports School Team Basketball

I don't look as handsome in Men in Black 2 as I did in the first one.

Men Black Handsome Look First Did

It is usually people in the money business, finance, and international trade that are really rich.

Business Money Finance People Rich

This president has said this has to be a priority for our nation, protecting our food supply from terrorist acts, so he continues to provide the funding that is necessary.

Food Said President Nation Supply

Characters written in 1990 would be acting like idiots if they were cast into the present. For example, the reader might wonder: Why isn't she texting? Where's her cellphone? Can't she have a simple paternity test? For God's sake, look on the Internet and check him out!

God Simple Present Internet Look

I love my own coincidences and love to hear other peoples' stories.

Love My Own Own Stories Coincidences

I'm always sad to see a relationship not work, but what happens between two people is not my business.

Debbie Reynolds

Work Business Relationship Sad See

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