Maz Jobrani Quotes

The fact is, the Middle East has been going crazy for 50, 60, 70 years. So it's not like, 'Oh, I need an ISIS joke.'

Maz Jobrani

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

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CrazyNeedYearsJokeGoingMiddle

The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.

Ann Bancroft

MarriageBestWayOldSomethingGet

I would, if checking boxes in a questionnaire, say I would oppose abortion except when the life of the mother is in danger.

Michael Baumgartner

LifeMotherAbortionSayDanger

When you're moved by music, that's always good.

Stone Gossard

GoodMusicYouAlwaysMoved

The genius of Rachel Dolezal's transracial achievement is that it has nearly limitless applications. Rachel is taking 'the power of positive thinking' to a whole new level.

Tom Tancredo

PositivePowerAchievementThinking

My father wasn't a hard guy. He was a well-liked guy. He had a lot of compassion about things in life. There were rules, but there was also flexibility within those rules. He didn't push me when it came to golf: he just taught me the right way to play the game.

Tom Watson

LifeFatherCompassionMeGamePush

I was studying American politicians who were searching - allegedly - for American communists because it would put them on the front pages of the papers in their home towns.

Robert Vaughn

HomeAmericanStudyingSearchingWho

We're led to believe everybody opposes it and disagrees with political correctness, but yet everybody's scared to death of it. So who is it? Well, it's the power structure wherever you happen to be.

Rush Limbaugh

PowerDeathBelievePoliticalYou

I loved my mission in Switzerland and Germany. As I left on the train from Basel, Switzerland, tears flowed down my cheeks because I knew then that my full-time service in the Church had ended.

Joseph B. Wirthlin

ServiceTearsLovedChurchMission

How do I know why Miles walks off the stage? Why don't you ask him? And besides, maybe we'd all like to be like Miles, and just haven't got the guts.

Dizzy Gillespie

YouKnowWhyAskHimStage

God will give you no more than you can handle.

Clarence Clemons

GodYouWillMoreHandleGive

Curiosity is one of the great secrets of happiness.

Bryant H. McGill

HappinessGreatCuriositySecrets

When I'm close to the penalty area, that's where I feel more comfortable.

Antoine Griezmann

FeelComfortableMoreWhereI Feel

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