John Oliver Quotes

My first 'Daily Show' piece was pretending I had this terrible immigrant journey, so I went to talk to an immigration lawyer who would help out people, and I ran into him in Penn Station about three months after I'd gotten the green card. I said, 'I got my green card yesterday.' And he hugged me because he understood that level of relief.

John Oliver

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Topics

DailyJourneyPeopleMeGreenHelp

Bullies may land a punch. They might leave a mark. But they have never, not once, in the history of our United States, managed to match the strength and spirit of a people united in defense of their future.

Joe Kennedy III

StrengthFutureHistoryPeopleLand

I'm not that musical. I don't really know how a record is produced, and, funnily enough, I don't want to.

Simon Cowell

EnoughKnowWantHowRecordReally

As an artist, it is great to be able to market yourself to people who don't know you, and people who do.

Tony Yayo

GreatYourselfPeopleYouArtist

Much of Indian science seems intuitive and not bound by the rigid thinking of classical scientists.

Roland Joffe

ScienceThinkingSeemsMuchBound

The music stuff has been very difficult. It's got to be right, and even then, it better be on key.

Michael Winslow

MusicKeyBetterDifficultRight

Bad criticism recites rote arguments. The shame of rote arguments isn't just that they're cliches, though they are, but that they tend to hide from us why a critic is actually thinking what they're thinking.

Michelle Dean

ThinkingCriticismBadHideWhyUs

It's always better to shock people and change people's expectations than to give them exactly what they think you can do. It's not unexpected for me to be in a comedy film anymore; I'm no longer the underdog in that world. Not that I'm great or good at it or anything, it's just that I've done a bunch of them, so you're not shocked.

Jonah Hill

ChangeGoodGreatPeopleMeWorld

I honestly do feel - and I hope I don't gag anybody if they read this - but I feel like I'm one of the luckiest people in the world.

Jonathan Banks

HopePeopleWorldFeelI Feel Like

Thanks to Botox and fillers, as well as the work that I've already had, my face pretty much maintains itself.

Dolly Parton

WorkFaceThanksPrettyWellBotox

Dating is fun. It's light: There's courting; there's the interesting, exciting text messaging and flirting. There's no weight. When you start getting into relationships, you really start having to consider each other in your lives, and I think that's really important.

Denise Vasi

LightDatingFunStartThinkYou

I haven't traveled in Africa nearly as much as I'd like to. I've been there a few times, and I'd like to learn more about the various cultures in Africa. But that's the basis point of where all of the music that I love is based upon, from Africa to Cuba to Puerto Rico to South America.

Chick Corea

LoveMusicLove IsLearnAmerica

I always teach myself calm and visualization stuff.

Conor McGregor

MyselfCalmTeachAlwaysStuff

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