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Jen Kirkman Quotes

Instead of saving for someone else's college education, I'm currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.

Jen Kirkman

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: August 28, 1974

Topics

Education Love Community College

I am no Poet here; my pen's the spout where the rain water of my eyes run out.

John Cleveland

Eyes Rain Water I Am Pen Run

Young kids are doing the same thing I did, but they're doing it differently. They don't do brain surgery the way they used to do it either.

Tom T. Hall

Brain Doing Young Way Same Used

If you spend a whole afternoon just eating popcorn and watching football, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But if that's all you do, you get swept along with the tide, without any idea of where you're going.

Roland Joffe

Football Eating You Tide Wrong

Everything has to do with geography.

Judy Martz

Geography Everything

Our findings with reference to organized crime was that organized crime as an entity didn't participate in the assassination of the president. However, we were unable to preclude the possibility of individual members of organized crime having participated.

Louis Stokes

Crime President Organized Individual

Think how slow would be your progress in learning without printed books: you could study only manuscripts, and those necessarily must be very few in number. Learn from this to value your books, and always handle them with care.

Dorothea Dix

Learning Progress Value Think Slow

When I was in New York, a lot of my friends were studying filmmaking and would bring their scripts to me, as I was a good script doctor. I would read their scripts and make corrections to them for $20 per script and was fascinated by films.

Arjun Rampal

Good New York Me Doctor Friends New

The superior power of population cannot be checked without producing misery or vice.

Thomas Malthus

Power Without Vice Superior Misery

Human nature is not of itself vicious.

Thomas Paine

Nature Human Nature Human Itself

I never close a door on any other religion. Most of the time, some part of it makes sense to me. I don't believe everyone has to chant just because I chant. I believe all religion is about touching something inside of yourself.

Tina Turner

Time Yourself Religion Me Door

There are a number of golfers who are playing great golf in their 40s.

Retief Goosen

Great Golf Playing Number Who

It's important to be gentle about my routines. I've learned that the hard way. When I'm really stressed out, I can take it out on my body and hurt myself. Sometimes I need to be as loving and soft with myself as possible. I've had to learn how to pay attention. It's a kind of mind-set.

Lisa Edelstein

Myself Hurt Learn Attention Body