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Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them; they're like museums full of good food. It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato.

Jim Gaffigan

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: July 7, 1966

Topics

Nature Good Food Fun Good Food Up

In our story logic which we're making up, if we're saying he's alive, then like a quadriplegic who's in bed he can move his head and shoulders, but he can't move his arms. If he could just turn on that power to his legs and arms, the nerves could get through and he could walk.

John Badham

Power Walk Saying Story Logic Alive

I wish thy lot, now bad, still worse, my friend, for when at worst, they say, things always mend.

John Owen

Friend Wish Bad Now Say Worst

I can't record in the morning because I sound like Barry White.

Toni Braxton

Morning White Sound Because Like

When I was a kid, I loved action, war, horror, monster movies... Anything with special effects. I was fascinated with how'd they do that.

Robert Zemeckis

War Action Loved Movies Special Kid

We all go through times when we need help.

Michael Ontkean

Help Go Need Through Times

I haven't gone home with anybody who tried to pick me up in a long time.

Jorja Fox

Home Time Me Long Long Time Gone

On a Friday night, I like to go out because my friends, who have been working normal hours, just want to let go after a stressful week at work.

Douglas Booth

Work Night Friday Friends Week Want

I always knew who I was, but everyone else wanted to me to be their 'idea' of the 'right' artist. At times, I even believed them.

Dawn Richard

Me Artist Right Always Everyone Who

I certainly would not like to end up in a tie-up with Ms. Rousey.

Conor McGregor

End Up Would Like Ms Certainly

Since retiring, there's only been one time I actually dreamed about wrestling. In my dream, I was wrestling against Kurt Angle. I had him clamped in a headlock. I was breathing hard, and I remember telling myself, 'This is only a dream. It's not real.' But the longer I held Kurt in a headlock, I started to believe it was real.

Bret Hart

Time Myself Believe Remember Dream

You have to give everybody another recourse as some means other than violence, no matter how distasteful it may be to have to deal with them and what they represent.

Anthony Zinni

Violence You Matter May Give Deal

Nobody roots for Goliath.

Wilt Chamberlain

Sports Roots Nobody Goliath