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Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Babies should be classified as an antidepressant. It's pretty hard to be in a bad mood around a 5-month-old baby.

Recitation: by Male by Female

Author Biography

Author Profession: comedian
Nationality: american
Birth: July 7, 1966

Topics

Baby Bad Mood Hard Bad Mood Pretty

Americans appreciate the way our friends around the world are sticking by us, and we all hope for their continued support in what's going to be some very trying times.

Hope Support World Appreciate Trying

When Kennedy could not get the civil rights bill passed - and he was the big liberal - Lyndon Johnson came in and it got passed, and he was the conservative and the southerner. So sometimes in politics, to get something done, it takes a special kind of knowledge and a special kind of person, but it doesn't always follow the party lines.

Knowledge Politics Party Person Done

In my heart, I'm confident I could make a good president.

Good Heart Confident President Make

Everybody's opinion is equally valid, and I feel like everybody should have an opportunity to speak out, and everyone should have the courage to speak out.

Opportunity Courage Opinion Speak

The love I have for my husband is intertwined with his, and we are two individuals looking in the same direction - as opposed to staring in each other's eyes all the time.

Love Eyes Time Looking Husband Same

Logic is neither an art nor a science but a dodge.

Science Art Logic Dodge Nor Neither

You don't go into anything contemplating failure, because if you did, you wouldn't make it.

Failure You Go Anything Because Did

I'm a creature of adaptation. I take advantage of the second and the moment. My comedy breathes; it's not really that predictable. I do have a linear style, but other than that, there's a lot of abstract. I just go off on what I'm thinking. I'm not that topical. I like to talk about me and my experiences.

Style Moment Me Thinking Comedy Go

Why do we have to have violence, torture, brutality in crime dramas every time we turn on television? Any new crime drama is going to have, sooner or later, a lot of torture and nasty things that make people flinch. Lots of young people I know shrink and flinch from that kind of thing on television, so I think showing it is a mistake.

Time Mistake People Think Violence

When I was young, clothes were really just about what fit, because Ashley and I were so tiny. So I understood fit before I understood style.

Mary-Kate Olsen

Style Clothes Young Understood Just

A couple of guys won Academy Awards for the things that I turned down. Today, after coming to terms with everything, after being in therapy for a long time-there are areas where I will compromise.

Today Compromise Long Down Awards

Do you really think that Social Security disability insurance is part of what people think of when they think of Social Security? I don't think so. It's the fastest-growing program. It grew tremendously under President Obama. It's a very wasteful program, and we want to try and fix that.

People Think Insurance You Security

Copyright © 2024 QuotesDict Quote by Jim Gaffigan