American - Comedian | June 13, 1926 - January 10, 1982
I often go on a liquid fast a couple of days a week. I never take just water. Instead, I'll have maybe six glasses of vegetable and fruit juices a day.
Paul Lynde
WaterDayGlassesFruitWeekFast
I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185.
IQUlcer
Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable.
ComedyAlwaysRealismMustAlmost
I wish I had the nerve not to tip.
FunnyWishI WishTipNerveHad
Learning lines is on my mind until I do know them. I'll read the paper or paint the house to keep from starting to memorize. I've never found an easy way.
LearningMindEasyHouseKnowWay
A closet full of wire hangers can be the most dangerous place in the world.
WorldPlaceDangerousClosetMost
Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics.
FunnyGriefHatePoliticsThinking
My following is straight. I'm so glad.
StraightGladFollowing
It was the worst moment of my life. The producer came up and talked me back into going on stage.
LifeMomentMeMy LifeBackWorst
I don't understand why people don't remember my name.
PeopleNameRememberWhyUnderstand
Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse.
MeWantMothersPursePinchPut
My sisters said, Why do you make those faces? You make yourself so ugly.
YourselfUglyYouSaidWhyFaces
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