American - Comedian | March 24, 1953 -
We all think we're going to get out of debt.
Louie Anderson
ThinkDebtOutGoingGet
A real estate closer. Oh, what's that? I'm a real estate opener. What is a real estate closer? You mean at the end where you've got to sign all those papers?
Real EstateEndYouMeanRealWhere
I have a very warm spot in my heart for Vegas.
HeartWarmVegasSpotVery
I'm a 7 o'clock act. My people want to go to a show, a dinner and then go home and go to bed.
HomePeopleDinnerBedGoWant
I can't stay long; I'm in between meals.
LongMealsStayBetween
I have about 1,000 hours of myself on tape in a vault in Los Angeles. But I also have a photographic memory about my jokes, because they're really about me; they're my stories.
MyselfMemoryMeLos AngelesJokes
You can't open anything after your 50. You have to wait 'til people stop by the house. 'Oh my God, I'm glad you're here.'
GodPeopleWaitYouHouseStop
When I say, 'I can't stay long, I'm in-between meals,' that plays differently on the radio than it does in person. So I have to pick material that works because the words are funny, not just because of the images.
FunnyWordsLongPersonJust Because
Well, isn't every successful person in every family the bankbook?
FamilyPersonSuccessfulWellEvery
I was 10th of 11 kids in an alcoholic, abusive, poor family. We all want things that we can't have. And I found comedy.
FamilyComedyWantPoorThingsKids
I would trade everything I have to have had a happier childhood.
ChildhoodEverythingTradeWouldHad
Everybody wanted to make it. One guy makes it. In a family when one guy makes it... 'Hey ain't you going to help us out?'
FamilyHelpYouOutGuyGoing
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