American - Author | January 15, 1985 -
I'm not usually vain about my body. It's like Pennsylvania: The same way the Keystone State comprises Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with not much in between, I've got good legs and shapely eyebrows, and it's kind of a wasteland outside of that.
Josh Gondelman
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When you're hot, you stride confidently down the street, extending your form to hail a taxi to take you from place to place. My body is designed for squeezing into packed subway cars and apologizing to those whose feet I clumsily step on.
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A v-neck T-shirt is the manliest of all upper-body garments. The defining feature of the style is a plummeting neckline that we normally associate with women's fashion, but when worn by a guy, it basically says, 'Here is a pie slice of chest hair that forms an arrow to my gut.' The deeper the 'V,' the more masculine the shirt.
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Given that I often wear shorts with a T-shirt, baseball cap, and backpack most days, a crew-neck shirt gives me the appearance of an undercover cop on the way to a sting operation at a summer camp.
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My aesthetic is, in short, 'cool substitute teacher.'
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One great thing about going to a fashion event in the morning, especially in February in New York, is that the other attendees are dressed less like models themselves. A winter coat, it turns out, is a great equalizer.
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Fact about me - I love jumping over/into things.
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The thing they don't tell you about a Tough Mudder is that, for all the adrenaline pumping and barbed-wire-bicep-tattoo sporting, a lot of the day is fairly idyllic and contemplative. I hadn't spent so much time jogging through the woods in years - or ever.
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I'm skinny, but a soft skinny. I have strong legs, but my arms are like pea pods with single peas for elbows.
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The modern ease of catfishing has had the tangential effect of growing a cottage industry of websites offering the services of fake Internet girlfriends.
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'The Big Lebowski' gave me my first false sense of intellectual superiority.
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Along with 'Wet Hot American Summer' and 'The Room,' 'Lebowski' belongs in the canon of nouveau cult classics.
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