British - Comedian | July 23, 1957 -
With two small children, I haven't had a wash since 2001 so the chance to go shopping is way down the list. It is something I do intend to get.
Jo Brand
ChildrenShoppingSmallChanceDown
I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.
FunnyChildrenDeathEffortParents
So, I kind of rather was hoping that people thought it would have a nice mixture of different topics and it also takes in the fact that I've had two children recently.
ChildrenPeopleThoughtNiceKind
Whatever situation you are in, that is what is normal for you.
YouSituationWhateverNormal
And I also felt that no one in an audience could abuse me worse than the sort of abuse I had had at work as a psychiatric nurse.
WorkMeAudienceAbuseWorseNurse
They say revenge is a dish best eaten cold, but for most people, by the time it's ready to eat, they just don't fancy it any more.
TimeBestPeopleColdRevengeReady
People can forgive each other.
PeopleForgiveOtherEach
When you get to know someone, you find there's something nasty in their woodshed.
SomeoneYouFindKnowSomethingGet
I swam at school a lot. Long-distance swimming in pools, and diving, then when we moved to Hastings when I was 13 I used to swim in the sea all the time; I loved it out of season and when it was rough.
SeaTimeSchoolSwimmingLovedOut
There are comics who treat women fairly appallingly. But I can be great friends with them because I don't tend to do that ticking of boxes: it can make life too simplistic.
LifeWomenGreatTreatFriendsWho
I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.
GreatPeopleFriendsSayVoteWho
There have been some very extreme hecklers in audiences whose bile was so hateful and so meant that it would be a bit frightening to think that all I'm doing is jokes and yet someone hates me that much.
MeThinkSomeoneDoingJokesBeen
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