- Comedian | March 16, 1960 -
I am very short-sighted, and if I don't like a situation I take my glasses off.
Jenny Eclair
I AmGlassesSituationTakeOffAm
I have a fear of poverty in old age. I have this vision of myself living in a skip and eating cat food. It's because I'm freelance, and I've never had a proper job. I don't have a pension, and my savings are dwindling. I always thought someone would just come along and look after me.
FearAgeVisionMyselfFoodJob
Well, I'm not good with sliminess. I hate the thought of creatures that have slime on them or creatures that leave a slimy trail. At home, the sight of a slug can bring up my breakfast.
GoodHomeHateBreakfastThoughtUp
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.
GoodLaughterMeYouWillBeat
I wouldn't say I was grumpy. It's more pathological - I have seismic tantrums. I get red in the face and cry at least three times a week, and I have to lie down and have a nap afterwards.
LieRedFaceWeekDownThree
I am best viewed from a distance... and at night.
BestI AmNightDistanceAmViewed
I prefer highs and lows to an even keel. Moderation is never something I've been good at.
GoodNeverModerationSomethingBeen
There should be more booing in shops and restaurants and places like that when when the service is bad. If you've had a poor breakfast in a hotel, you should put your knife and fork down and boo.
ServiceBreakfastHotelYouBad
I only socialise with people that I have a lot in common with.
PeopleCommonOnlyLot
I think as time goes by you'll get female comics who are weirder - you'll get a female Mighty Boosh.
TimeThinkYouTime Goes ByMighty
I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content.
ManI CanEatContentSureFiber
I'm the least spiritual person in the world. I can't even abide a smelly candle. I know it's meant to make me relax, and that immediately makes my hackles rise.
SpiritualCandleMeRelaxWorld
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