American - Playwright | June 10, 1922 - January 5, 2003
Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.
Jean Kerr
BabyYouPersonNowHaving A Baby
A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.
GoodJobLawyerDivorceTableNever
Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite.
ManAnimalBeingOnlyHeEventually
One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind.
MindYouLostDifficultHospital
When the grandmothers of today hear the word 'Chippendales', they don't necessary think of chairs.
TodayThinkNecessaryHearWord
You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help.
HopeMoneyRichBetterUnhappyHelp
I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
PeopleMeFeelDietGoWay
Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living.
PeopleLivingWayDrinkEvenTried
I make mistakes; I'll be the second to admit it.
MistakesAdmitMakeSecond
Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.
WomenManSpeakWishFindSocks
Affairs have been going on since Tolstoy.
GoingBeenSinceTolstoyAffairs
'Lunch Hour' is suitable for a teenager.
LunchHourTeenagerSuitable
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