British - Comedian | -
Most scams are absurd - so absurd that one wonders how anyone falls for them at all; yet if no one falls for them, how do the scammers make money?
James Veitch
MoneyAbsurdMakeWondersMostHow
Just remember: if ever you feel weighed down by the bureaucracy and often mundanity of modern life, don't fight the frustration. Let it be the catalyst for whimsy.
LifeFightFrustrationRememberYou
I get a ton of scam emails. But instead of deleting them, I decided to hit reply.
ReplyScamGetHitEmailsThem
The marooned friend is one of the best-known scams, principally because it's the one that dodges the spam filter most often. It comes from someone you know but often only tangentially. It's since become - hands down - one of my favourite scams.
FriendSomeoneHandsYouDownKnow
I went to see my mother the other day, and she told me this story that I'd completely forgotten about how, when we were driving together, she would pull the car over, and by the time she had gotten out of the car, and gone around the car to let me out of the car, I would have already gotten out of the car and pretended to have died.
MotherCarTimeDayTogetherMe
I do bits about dating but mainly about what I did and how incompetent I am, not any genuine people writing to me.
DatingI AmPeopleMeWritingHow
Don't get me wrong - I don't want to be mean to the scammers. There are lots of people online who do that. I'm content merely having fun inventing, and I figure any time they're spending with me is time in which they're not scamming vulnerable adults out of their savings.
TimeFunPeopleMeHaving FunWrong
People say we live in an age of information overload. Right? I don't know about that, but I just know that I get too many marketing emails.
LiveAgePeopleInformationKnow
The Internet gave us access to everything; but it also gave everything access to us.
InternetEverythingUsAccessGave
I remember it when I used to go out, I used to dress as Superman, but then I used to dress as Superman dressed as Clark Kent. So, actually, I would be like a little seven-year-old boy going out in a business suit. But I would never expose the fact that I was Superman, but I knew, that should there be any trouble, I could take care of it.
BusinessDressCareTake CareGo
I woke up one morning to an email from my friend Alex that said she'd had her bag stolen. Ordinarily, I'm quite quick on the uptake, but - maybe because of the way it was worded - I immediately replied, 'What??????' As soon as I hit send, I realised I was being scammed. But then they replied, and I thought, 'Well, why not?'
FriendMorningThoughtBagSaidWhy
I think of the spam folder not as Pandora's box but as a costume shop in which you can play and play at being whoever and whatever you wish. If only for a time.
TimeThinkWishYouPlayBox
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