American - Comedian | -
Women feel like we're fat if we can't wear the clothes we wore in high school. Men, in contrast, only start to feel fat only when they can no longer fit into a foreign car.
Gina Barreca
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Almost 30 years ago, I started seeking help from a counselor with a master's of social work in New York City, but we were never a good match. It was like being in a bad relationship, except the guy could actually bill my health insurance company for lousy dates.
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I passed my classes because I displayed effort, not because I learned math. But how can we help young people understand life rarely gives partial credit for effort, especially if that effort doesn't lead to understanding or success?
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My longing to improve my looks via The Body Shop is being replaced by my longing to improve my looks via Photoshop.
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From age 16 to age 20, a woman's body is a temple. From 21 to 45, it's an amusement park. From 45 on, it's a terrarium.
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Here's something women need to stop doing to other women: We need to stop asking each other to lower our fees, cut our rates or work for free because we're members of the same sex.
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My cat is older than many fashion models. I won't even discuss the fact that she also weighs more.
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My mother thinks Mick Jagger is a foreign car.
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The '60s had edge; the '70s had embroidery.
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For many of us, our proms were less Walt Disney's 'Cinderella' and more Stephen King's 'Carrie.' The less we spent on them, the better.
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Sometimes things can take a very long time and still not be very good. It took us all of evolutionary history just to get where we are today, for instance, and mostly where we are today is on the couch.
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I regard other women as my community, not my competition.
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