American - Dramatist | November 16, 1889 - June 2, 1961
At dramatic rehearsals, the only author that's better than an absent one is a dead one.
George S. Kaufman
BetterDeadDramaticOnlyAbsent
The kind of doctor I want is one who when he's not examining me is home studying medicine.
HomeMeDoctorMedicineWantKind
I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra.
MoreLikeLess
Satire is what closes on Saturday night.
NightSaturdaySatireSaturday Night
When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
WomanDinnerFaceLookPriceShe
I understand your new play is full of single entendres.
PlayNewUnderstandSingleYour
Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye.
GodEyeDeadWaiterCaughtFinally
Office hours are from 12 to 1 with an hour off for lunch.
LunchOfficeOffHoursHour
When I was born I owed twelve dollars.
FunnyBornI Was BornOwedTwelve
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