American - Comedian | December 8, 1933 - November 25, 1998
If I could marry my motorcycle, I'd roll her right up to the altar.
Flip Wilson
MotorcycleRightUpHerIf I Could
You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.
MotivationalYouExpectMachineHit
The devil made me do it.
MeDevilMade
Violence is a tool of the ignorant.
ViolenceIgnorantTool
Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.
HumorFunSickYouCardsBecome
My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?
LifeSelfMy LifeSayWantWhy
Variety shows didn't disappear; it was the caliber of the artists, the classic vaudevillians that have passed on. They are gone, so there's a different caliber performer that's come along that hasn't had the time to work in the small clubs and get the experience.
WorkTimeExperienceSmallClassic
The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.
ChanceDownLivingUpCostGoing
It's later than it's ever been.
BeenThanLaterEver
My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.
BirthdayTeacherChildhoodSchoolMe
Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone.
FunnyGoodTimeColorBlackYou
I accomplished what I set out to do. I wanted the whole cookie, and I got it. Now I want to spend more time with my children - make sure they don't go through what I did.
ChildrenTimeGoNowWantMore
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