American - Journalist | July 10, 1867 - April 24, 1936
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
Finley Peter Dunne
GoodManOpinionAlcoholFactsHe
Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
TrustCardsCutEverybody
Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
ComfortComfortableAfflictedAfflict
A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.
ManFactsLordWouldKnewHe
The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because it isn't here.
TimePastBetterLooksAlwaysHere
There are no friends at cards or world politics.
PoliticsWorldFriendsCards
The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
GoodMarriageConsiderateStayGet
Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.
FoodLookEatLikeMostMuch
There ain't any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare.
GoodWorldYouBackNewsWrite
Don't jump on a man unless he is down.
ManDownJumpHeUnless
It don't make much difference what you study, so long as you don't like it.
LongYouDifferenceStudyLikeMuch
A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.
LiePurposeKindWorstProfitable
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