Irish - Comedian | November 3, 1971 -
I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.
Dylan Moran
WomenSoupThinkLooksWillTry
I don't want to do the same thing over and over again.
WantSameOverSame ThingAgain
I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.
FamousDivisionFootballerActually
It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book.
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You're not going to learn anything if you're not prepared to go flat, so I'm very happy to go flat.
HappyLearnYouGoAnythingGoing
If you're a comic, you don't have a rehearsal room; you rehearse on stage. My main concern is remembering everything. I've written lots of material, but how do you memorise 90 minutes? That's one hell of a long speech. I've always had problems with that.
ProblemsHellSpeechLongYouStage
I don't want to do panel games or adverts. I really like challenges. I always get roles as an art teacher or a photographer. In the future I want to play something like a mugger/assassin/pastry chef.
FutureTeacherArtChefChallenges
I don't go to different countries to criticise their political system and tell them what they should be doing - what do I know?
PoliticalDoingGoKnowTellSystem
I never really had a career, to be honest with you. I never in my life sat down and planned it. I have thought, 'Oh, I'd like to do this,' like anybody would. But I'm not the type that says, 'If I do this, it will lead to that.'
LifeThoughtMy LifeYouCareer
I don't watch a whole lot of stand up. Mainly I prefer to read writers; they make me laugh the most. Something gets you when you're alone and someone's voice is coming through their work. There's a different quality to it that stays with you a bit more.
WorkAloneQualityMeStand UpYou
America's work ethic is non-stop; it's not even enshrined in law that workers have to get their two weeks holiday money. But Americans work harder than everyone else I can think of.
WorkMoneyLawThinkWork Ethic
I wouldn't be in a huge hurry to go back to Kansas. It was just bizarre. There's a lot of very, very heavy set people who believe in whatever they were told, because they didn't seem to get out very much or be interested in leaving where they were. They just didn't seem that curious, and I find that a little hard to deal with.
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