American - Comedian | October 12, 1932 -
And we love to dance, especially that new one called the Civil War Twist. The Northern part of you stands still while the Southern part tries to secede.
Dick Gregory
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When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me 85 dollars. That is why in the Navy the Captain goes down with the ship.
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People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you change the life style, those conditions will leave.
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Love is very dangerous if you just have love and don't have the ability to be lovable.
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If they took all the drugs, nicotine, alcohol and caffeine off the market for six days, they'd have to bring out the tanks to control you.
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Political promises are much like marriage vows. They are made at the beginning of the relationship between candidate and voter, but are quickly forgotten.
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There's a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.
LiveGodYouWillInsideForce
I went to Ethiopia, and it dawned on me that you can tell a starving, malnourished person because they've got a bloated belly and a bald head. And I realized that if you come through any American airport and see businessmen running through with bloated bellies and bald heads, that's malnutrition, too.
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When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's not enough, but it helps.
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I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.
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My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that's never been explained.
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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
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