English - Writer | February 6, 1922 -
There's an unseen force which lets birds know when you've just washed your car.
Denis Norden
CarBirdsYouKnowForceJust
If it ain't baroque, don't fax it.
BaroqueFax
I have better peripheral vision in my left. It is quite hard to remain optimistic, but I have found the Macular Society, of whom I've been an enthusiastic supporter for nine years, tremendously helpful in providing support.
VisionSupportSocietyBetterHard
It's like your children talking about holidays, you find they have a quite different memory of it from you. Perhaps everything is not how it is, but how it's remembered.
ChildrenMemoryHolidaysTalkingYou
Frank liked administrative work and was good at it.
WorkGoodAdministrativeLikedFrank
And when you're on your own there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it's funny - and you have no way of finding out.
FunnyFindingYouPersonWayOut
Then after that came word processors and it's hard to make those laugh.
LaughHardMakeWordThoseAfter
I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.
FunnyChallengePeopleWritingUsed
The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up.
MoneySongComedyPayUpComedians
Everyone who appears in a scene gets paid.
EveryonePaidWhoSceneAppears
I defy anyone to get a decision that quickly these days.
DecisionDaysGetDefyQuickly
If the laughter of the audience was malicious we wouldn't show it.
LaughterAudienceShowMalicious
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