American - Author | -
Nobody can make a putt that breaks to the right. It's unnatural. Unless you're left-handed, of course. Standing over a putt that breaks to the right can actually make you dizzy. I've long thought that right-breaking putts are a major contributor to mental and physical ill health.
Dan Jenkins
HealthThoughtLongYouNobodyOver
First, I thought Twitter was some kind of hybrid car being developed by Government Motors. Then I thought it was a new bite-size snack combining what's best of the Frito and the Cheeto. Then I found out it was me. On a laptop. At the U.S. Open. Having fun.
CarBestGovernmentFunMeThought
The PGA Championship, last of the majors each year, might well be accustomed to having fun poked at it by the print press for being mired in August, but this isn't fair.
FunHaving FunYearFairLastWell
Of course, Dwight D. Eisenhower gets credit for doing more for golf than any other White House resident, a mid- to high-handicapper though he was.
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Nobody else is Tiger Woods. Not on this planet.
WoodsTigerNobodyPlanetElse
You count a man's U.S. Amateur titles after he starts winning professional majors. That's something any intelligent golf writer with a sense of history is supposed to know.
HistoryManWinningGolfYouKnow
The U.S. won the majors 29-11 in the 1980s. That's when Tom Watson and Jack Nicklaus were carrying the ball, and when Seve Ballesteros was becoming a Brit in the minds of English and Scottish journalists.
MindsBallBecomingEnglishScottish
If you want to put golf back on the front pages again, and you don't have a Bobby Jones or a Francis Ouimet handy, here's what you do: You send an aging Jack Nicklaus out in the last round of the Masters and let him kill more foreigners than a general named Eisenhower.
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The Masters is a sell-out annually, and even the scalpers mind their manners.
MindMannersEvenMasters
Historians tell us that a gentleman named John Ball once captured eight British Amateur titles.
GentlemanBallTellBritishUsOnce
When I was a lad in my 20s, as carefree and debonair as any other underpaid newspaperman, I happened to be a golfer who could flirt with par fairly often, and I was adventurous enough in those days to play any known or unknown thief who showed up at Goat Hills for whatever amount he fancied.
EnoughPlayUnknownThiefWhatever
I haven't looked for a golf ball since mulligans were free, which was a law I passed in 1995.
LawFreeGolfBallGolf BallSince
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