English - Critic | May 23, 1957 -
There's nothing wrong with procrastination. Or is there? I'll leave it to you to decide, but only if you have the time.
Craig Brown
TimeYouProcrastinationWrongLeave
Cleanliness is the scourge of art.
ArtCleanlinessScourge
It is hard being a football loather, a football unfan. I sometimes feel as lonely as the sole survivor in the last reel of a Zombie film, as, one by one, old friends reveal themselves, with their glassy stares and outstretched arms, to have succumbed to the lure.
FootballOld FriendsLonelyFriends
My life is a monument to procrastination, to the art of putting things off until later, or much later, or possibly never.
LifeArtMy LifeLife Is ANever
As a rough rule of thumb, I would say the smaller the pond, the more belligerent the fish.
FishSayMorePondRuleRough
Personally, I belong to the speedy school of golf. If it were left up to me, I would introduce a new rule that said every golf ball has to stay in motion from the moment it leaves the tee to the moment it plops into the hole, thus obliging each player to run along after his ball and give it another whack before it stops rolling.
MomentSchoolMeGolfNewRun
Everyone must know by now that the aim of Scrabble is to gain the moral high ground, the loser being the first player to slam the board shut and upset all the letters over the floor.
LoserMoralKnowLettersUpsetAim
Somewhere in the back of their minds, hosts and guests alike know that the dinner party is a source of untold irritation, and that even the dullest evening spent watching television is preferable.
DinnerEveningBackTelevisionParty
Often, I grow irritated before the first tile has been placed on the Scrabble board. This generally occurs when one of my opponents has insisted upon bringing a dictionary to the table, making it clear that he will be consulting it throughout the game.
GameGrowTableWillFirstClear
Historians are the consummate hairdressers of the literary world: cooing in public, catty in private.
WorldHistoriansPublicCatty
A decent beard has long been the number one must-have fashion item for any fugitive from justice.
JusticeFashionBeardLongDecent
Monopoly may also end in tears, but its tensions are cruder, lacking the infinitely subtle shadings of irritation and acrimony provided by Scrabble.
TearsEndMonopolyMayScrabble
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