English - Critic | March 3, 1971 -
Everyone's opened a drawer and been startled by the unexpected discovery of an old mobile phone that now resembles an outsized pantomime prop. To think you used to be impressed by this clunky breezeblock. You were like a caveman gawping at a yo-yo.
Charlie Brooker
ThinkUnexpectedYouDiscoveryPhone
Nothing happens in cricket, ever. Even the highlights resemble a freeze frame.
CricketNothingFrameFreezeHappens
I can't imagine painting my face in a team colour and roaring with delight as a multi-millionaire kicks a ball at a net.
TeamPaintingFaceColourDelight
I can't imagine voluntarily standing beside an F1 track in the rain, watching motorised wedges plastered in corporate decals zooming past at 500mph.
RainPastWatchingStandingImagine
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