American - Actor | January 26, 1967 -
Compare sending someone a text message and getting a love letter delivered by carrier pigeon. No contest.
Bryan Callen
LoveSomeonePigeonMessageText
My dad's idea of punishment was to dress me up in all green to disguise me as grass, and then throw me in the pasture. Cows bit me all over.
DressMeGreenGrassPunishmentUp
I guess I am attracted to older women. I'm looking for a 40-something who has had her heart broken two or three hundred times. She's going to be fun!
WomenHeartBrokenI AmFunLooking
I don't know much, but I like talking to people who know a lot more than I do.
PeopleTalkingKnowMoreWhoLike
My point of view is that men are basically animals, and I'm okay with that.
MenViewPoint Of ViewAnimalsOkay
Guys want a 500 horsepower car. I'd rather have one horsepower - in a horse. That's macho. You go to pick up your date and you show up on a horse.
CarHorseYouGoWantUp
Some comics really thrive on being disrespectful, especially toward women, and it's somehow understood as edgy, but I'm the opposite. I've never liked curse words for that reason.
WomenWordsThriveEdgyNeverCurse
I celebrate masculinity when I'm onstage.
CelebrateMasculinityOnstage
There are so many hot, sexy women in L.A.
WomenSexyHotMany
I've always wanted to be a brooding, deep, dark artist, but I can never keep that facade going for more than 15 minutes.
DeepArtistDarkI CanMoreNever
My parents were really nice to me.
ParentsMeNiceReallyWere
If you actually get down to the nitty-gritty of the average Pakistani, the average Indian, the average whoever, what you really do know emotionally is that they're exactly the same.
YouDownKnowSameAverageGet
Copyright © 2024 QuotesDict Bryan Callen quotes