American - Author | November 18, 1965 -
In many ways, September feels like the busiest time of the year: The kids go back to school, work piles up after the summer's dog days, and Thanksgiving is suddenly upon us.
Brene Brown
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It's hard to practice compassion when we're struggling with our authenticity or when our own worthiness is off-balance.
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For me, the opposite of scarcity is not abundance. It's enough. I'm enough. My kids are enough.
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I carry a small sheet of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter. To be on that list, you have to love me for my strengths and struggles.
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Guilt is just as powerful, but its influence is positive, while shame's is destructive. Shame erodes our courage and fuels disengagement.
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First and foremost, we need to be the adults we want our children to be. We should watch our own gossiping and anger. We should model the kindness we want to see.
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As a vulnerability researcher, the greatest barrier I see is our low tolerance for vulnerability. We're almost afraid to be happy. We feel like it's inviting disaster.
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Our need for certainty in an endeavor as uncertain as raising children makes explicit 'how-to-parent' strategies both seductive and dangerous.
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I'm just going to say it: I'm pro-guilt. Guilt is good. Guilt helps us stay on track because it's about our behavior. It occurs when we compare something we've done - or failed to do - with our personal values.
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What's the greater risk? Letting go of what people think - or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do 'faith.'
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When the people we love stop paying attention, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in.
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