American - Journalist | October 20, 1925 - January 17, 2007
This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.
Art Buchwald
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So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around.
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I found out I'd spent my whole life believing things that weren't necessarily accurate. My sisters' memories of certain events are entirely different from mine.
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A humorist has to be taken seriously before he's considered a real writer.
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Being in the hospice didn't work out exactly the way I had expected. By all rights, I should have finished my time here in mid-March 2006 - at least, that's when Medicare stopped paying.
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It is one thing to choose to go into a hospice; it's another thing to get on the air and tell everybody about it.
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Becoming eighty is a matter of life or death. I chose life. It is a much better position to be in, and it's easier on your back.
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I was put on earth to make people laugh.
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Men and women cannot live by bread alone. They must also tinkle. Show me someone who has no trouble tinkling, and I will show you a happy and rich person.
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There was tremendous pressure to take dialysis, and there were lots of tears when I broke the news to the family that I was not going to do it.
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Unless they've had some experience with it, the hospice is still a mystery to most people. Because hospice deals with death, people tend not to talk about it.
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I've known Don since he came to Washington. When he first came to work for George W. Bush, he was a different Don Rumsfeld. He was jolly, full of life, and ready to go to war, but only if we could win.
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